You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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