Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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