uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
