I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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