the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
