your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
