You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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