so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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