I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
