And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize