he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
