Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
