what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
