Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
