He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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