I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
