And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
