Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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