dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
