i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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