Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
