BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
