im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
