Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
