you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
