You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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