You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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