Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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