So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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