I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
