There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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