Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
