R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
