Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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