when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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