im holly from the hills drunk
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
