hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
