Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
