Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
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