We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
