you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Actions speak louder than pants.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
