The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
