Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
