It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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