Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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