dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
