I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
