hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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