mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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