I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
