This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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