I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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