Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
