If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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