why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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