Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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