Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize