Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
