Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
