I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
