If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
