i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
