What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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