Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
