Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
