would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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