If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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