I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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