I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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