Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
