Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
