So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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