i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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