marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
